Hello and greetings to all you Monday money-making, marriage-material…monsters? Idk. Hi, it’s me Sarah (obviously). And I think I’ve lost sight of all the words I just wanted to write and all the sad shit I felt like dredging up, because I come to you in real time like, I just sat down at my desk-top, I opened this page, and looked to my left and my Polar-Bear resembling 6.5 month old puppy Dory, looked at me in the eyes, smiled, and then proceeded to very slowly “assume the [shitting] position” and take a big old shit, on her freshly cleaned beige (style > practicality, always, no shame), bed in her crate I’ve adorned with throw pillows and toys, that she wasn’t trapped in, by the way. No, no, no. Miss Dory had the whole (imposter) hardwood floor to lay her golden-shit egg on, and this felt intentional. Furthermore, about 10 minutes ago, we came back from a 15-minute walk around the dicey parts of the neighborhood (because she prefers pooping on the rocks, not the grass), and she was perfectly pleased just being a refined young lady out there. So now, you know how people be like “Bless this mess” I think that I’m finally catching on. Like, did my puppy just shit a blessing of a shit? Because my head was swarming and thinking of all the ways the world is cruel and boys are mean and death fucking sucks and blah blah blah, but now, I’m just thinking about my canine- daughter, who I birthed through my very own womb, motherfucking grinning at me, as delighted as can be. So very pleased with herself and frankly, not giving a shit as she shat, as I sat here frozen and eyes smiling in intense joy and slight frustration and utter disbelief. I mean, my beautiful poopy daughter…Dory…why?
Anyways, this is a botch of a post, but I’m okay with it. Shit’s funny sometimes and today’s been long and sometimes you just need a good laugh. It’s the first time today I just fucking chilled out and gave into the moment. And now, I sit here, writing a post about my puppy’s poop and I’m kind of even not sorry about it.
I guess to throw some type of human wisdom to the matter, so it’s not 100% fecal (sry, I had to, I have no self-control) I will say that sometimes it can be helpful to just try and take things a little less seriously. Personally, I pray to the Universe or Spirit or God or wtv the fuck I feel like calling it that day, for this relief of seriousness, far less than I should. Sometimes I forget it doesn’t all have to be so heavy and about anger and fear and sorrow, and ugh–and it can be as simple as like, yo, marshmellow orbit kiwi lampshade, on pluto, can you please help me chill the fuck out?
And this reminds me, too, of a text I saw recently, while racing through my old texts with my Dad. Admittedly, since he passed about 6 months ago (I think), I haven’t been able to look at our texts, even though one of my biggest fears is losing them. But, one day, actually on the day that I was getting dog food for Dory for the first time, as she was coming to live with me the next day on August 13th, I heard a song that was a song I’d only ever heard once before when my Dad sent it to me, in the pet store. So, when I got home I looked through the texts and although I did a pretty pristine job at not getting spiraled into the records of conversations I’ll never be able to share with him again, one text stood out. It was from him, to me and it said “Have fun with it! :)”.
In this, my Dad had been giving me insight on how to be an efficient and effective car-shopper, as I had totaled mine in a recent crash at the time of the texts. I had been so very anxious about getting the right things done, about what I hadn’t been doing and what a piece of shit I was, and how much I thought I sucked and how stressful everything felt, that I had dissolved that entire car-shopping pursuit into self-pity and resentment and stress that tore my very limbs apart, it felt like. And there my Dad was, in the most pain he’d ever been in, with less than two months to live (though he didn’t know that yet), and reminding me that there is always good and fun and okay-ness in situations if we find it. There are always ways we can take shit a little less seriously, pun absolutely intended. And our perspectives are what make the worst situations beautiful and the best situations shit, but not Dory’s shit, because Dory’s shit is, of course, funny. Nicely done, little girl.
Anyways, I think we’ve all heard me officially talk about shit way too much. So go find some funny shit that’s relevant to you, and hopefully it’s not actually well, poop.
And do me and my dad a special favor the next time you feel stressed out in the upcoming days. Take a step back, take a deep breath, remember that you’re a fucking boss and you can find something dope in even the most mundane situation. Like hey, you’re breathing, it’s sunny or think about how you’ll feel great after you have accomplished whatever boring shit you set out to do.
So, have fun with it. 🙂 and as always, stay Beautiful, my loves.
xoxoSarah
PS. [this blog post is dedicated to my disgusting and adorable creature, for being my stinky little muse: Mommy loves you, Dory]
sara[h]doxicaL @best 